What it means to love
To adore and admire another
or perhaps to simply abhor things about their sister or brother
What it means to love
Like a swelling, a telling of what’s to come
It’s like a waiting, a waiting that never fully comes to an end
Sitting with baited breath
Perhaps a coy look on ones face…
Thoughts that can’t be fully expressed or placed
A moment sought and found
The prize at the end of a long hard race.
Who can define or describe love? Not I
For to me it is like knowing everything and nothing both at the same time
To find comfort in another
A sprinkling of truth on a life full of lies
I can feel it now
All the moments of my life melting into me
All the moments of my life,
Truths that burn and set me free.
I live in the perpetual lie
In the sauce
For me a dream is a dream
And a conscious stream is a conscious stream
You want to become your dream
You want to follow it
I want awareness
And the real
And I do not follow dreams like you do
I find dreams untrue
My ego is not just bigger than your ego
My ego is bigger than you
I’m always in love with someone or something new. Last week I was in love with an idea, this week I’m in love with an old love… someone I haven’t seen in years, who I may never see ever again. There’s this soft spot in my heart reserved just for him. How I waited so long to find that one person just for me, and then suddenly there he was. I don’t know what makes a love last or fall apart. Throw some depression and grief and anxiety and maybe some bipolar schizoid shit into the mix, maybe even a bit of autism and adhd, who the hell knows with all the different things I’ve been diagnosed with at this point, and you get a shitstorm. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t totally loving him though. Not even close. I was just trying to find my way through my own darkness, one my friends and family will never fully understand. (Some of them do though, the ones who have experienced mental illness and/or other chronic health problems.
Fuck, I wish I knew where you were now. I wish we could just go somewhere and grab a coffee, go for a long walk and sit near the ocean waves and talk about our current passions/loves. I wish we could sit silently for a time, maybe hold hands or look into each others eyes and remember why we once loved one another. I wish, but what is a wish?
I haven’t been so inspired to create as I was by that one love. I was more inspired then than any other time in my life. Now I live with chronic pain, and it’s a pain nobody seems able to understand or explain.
What choices did I have but to move on when you left? What would I have been if I hadn’t been who I am? A liar? A fraud? I became everything you despise, and I could never understand why. Maybe the universe was against us from the start, plotting the demise of our love before it even fully bloomed. Miscarried much too soon. Yet still, I know I once loved and always will love you. Just you. Not someone else, you.
Artist recreates his childhood doodles 20 years later
In his series “Kiddie Arts,” Telmo Pieper took his old doodles and used Photoshop to digitally recreate them in a realistic style. While the pictures still look bizarre and fantastical, it’s fascinating to see the two versions — one by a child and one by an adult — side by side. [article]